Letters to nature.

botswanagallery.org

Dear Frog

Firstly I must apologise for taking so long to get you out of my toilet/septic tank.  I have not got an excuse. I am sorry. Secondly I must apologise for scaring you so often and chasing you down the pipe – it was an easy way out for me.  Thirdly, sorry for poking you a bit on Friday night during the rescue operation – it was unavoidable. If you had just sat still on the end of the coat hanger it would have made things easier for both of us.  I hear Mr Owl offers really good priced psychology sessions which you may wish to attend. I will pay your bill for you.  However, I do understand if you prefer to stay away from him given his predilection for frogs.

Please be advised to steer clear of my septic tank in future. I hope you have a happy, hoppy life ahead of you.

Kindest regards

Slowvelder

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Dear Mr Impala

I understand that your hormones are bothering you – I get it. If you want to fight all night long that is fine too, however, if you roar right next to my bedroom window at 3am again, I will come out and turn you into a pot roast….or a potjie…..or even biltong. That is if I don’t die from a heart attack first because of the horrific roar echoing through my cottage. It was 3am for goodness sake!

Please take this as a final warning.

Slowvelder

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To:  The Weather Control Center

To whom it may concern,

Thank you for all the rain you sent at my request. I know it was almost out of season and therefore a difficult request to fulfill. Now my farm will still be green for my family to see this weekend.  Much appreciated.

Best regards

Slowvelder

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Edit:  I have to add this suggestion written and suggested by Shamballa

Dear Mr. Owl

Please note that the odd smelling thing which looks like a frog but smells a bit off, is in fact a frog. Smelly frog has suffered a tough time recently and has been “through the ringer.” Please consider giving him a pass when the smell wears off.

Also, he might have a lot to croak about in the next few days; perhaps you can give him some words of wisdom, before you are tempted to put him out of his misery.

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13 thoughts on “Letters to nature.

  1. I love your new header photo!

    I’d like to add another note to Nature. Dear Nature: The rain has been great but I’m starting to get depressed and feel a cold coming on. Please bring back the warm sun! Love, 2Summers

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  2. Glad you got the frog to leave…took me 24 hours to convince a dragonfly that he didn’t want to live in the house with us, but he finally did agree to sit on my hand while I escorted him outside this weekend. So, maybe this was the weekend of awareness for nature’s critters 😉

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  3. What a hoot! [I guess the only one you left out was the owl.]

    Dear Mr. Owl: Please note that the odd smelling thing which looks like a frog but smells a bit off, is in fact a frog. Smelly frog has suffered a tough time recently and has been “through the ringer.” Please consider giving him a pass when the smell wears off.

    Also, he might have a lot to crock about in the next few days; perhaps you can give him some words of wisdom, before you are tempted to put him out of his misery.

    Like

  4. Mmmmmm..impala biltong…and yes, we did try biltong on our trip…and really enjoyed it. We bought more for the plane ride home..had to eat it all because US Customs won’t allow us to bring it into the country. Good stuff!

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