I am a happy, positive person. So much so that I think I may irritate people a bit – especially those that don’t like happy, positive people. I think they think I’m a fake. How can someone always be so happy and positive – impossible?
But really – I am. My life is so simple now – I follow a natural rhythm that has just seemed to have happened and I am so very happy just being me. It’s been exceptionally good since I stopped working at the packhouse and started on Jackal’s Den.
Have I been living in an ideal little bubble? Maybe…… but it’s been so darn nice.
That is till I went to Johannesburg two weeks ago. I forgot to put on my body armour, my little self protective wall that comes in so handy when there are so many people around. I think I got a little battered and bruised there.
I have never liked conflict but have had to deal with it from time to time when i was working in the corporate world, but that was a few years ago now. When I got to Johannesburg – the mad rushing crowd started me off, then I had a nasty run in with the man who thatched the Bean’s roof.
Also there was a little bit of family conflict around my son and his wedding (not on our side thank goodness) and a few other minor family things that got me on edge. By mid-week I wanted to hop in my car and come home to my sanctuary.
My Father is also not well and he sat me down while I was there and told me that he has decided not to go back to hospital again. I don’t want this to happen.
I got back here to the farm and after a few quiet days, another owner on the farm was here visiting his portion, when he dropped down dead from a heart attack. It was such a shock as I had been chatting to him a few hours before he died. He loved it here although he could only get here about once a month. It was also his sanctuary but it could not protect him from everything. He was the man who bought my hornbill painting. His funeral is tomorrow.
Also another sadness when I found out that a fellow blogger had lost the love of her life after such a short time together. It made me weep. Life is so fragile yet we tend to blunder through it pretending we are invincible. We are not.
I need to get back into my groove here – I miss my little bubble – as idealistic as it may be – it makes me happy. I just need to first finish fighting with my bank manager……………..
I have come to the conclusion that sometimes life is like a cats tongue……rough.
My sincerest condolences go out to the du Plessis family and to Heather Mason of 2Summers.